I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
