i permit you to call me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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