Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
