I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
