You work out of a Hotel?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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