At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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