Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize