Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
