I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
