I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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