was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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