awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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