GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
