Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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