I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
