i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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