He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
