Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
