he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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