youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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