dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
