1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
