I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
