I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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