brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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