I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
