Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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