I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
