nut hugger
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
