Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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