plz talk dirty to me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
