this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
