Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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