Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
