wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
