My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
