Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
