I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
