Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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