I need help removing her.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
