ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
