i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
