i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
one might say we're banned from that church
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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