I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Your tits are I can't wait for
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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