There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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