I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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