I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
