Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
