I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
