He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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