So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
