Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just high enough for therapy.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize