dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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