Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
