remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
