You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
