Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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