new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
