Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
are you so shy because you have an std?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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