we're chasing vodka with high fives
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
