Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
