fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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