More tranny stories later!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
