ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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