Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
