She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
