Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
